Life Without Him
by Little Sakura-chan
Summary: One shot. How will the pieces of a mirror be put back together for Faye and Jet after Spike's death? They learn how difficult it is to forget someone who has left such a big impression on their lives.


**Beginning Note:** Hey, it's me. Little Sakura-chan! I'm here with another story! It's my first one shot and no, it's not my one shot dream. Heh. I should really start that, shouldn't I? I have so many things that I need to do. Unmei no Kodomo on needs to be updated, I need to update The Betrayal Journals, and I need to do the epilogue from True Feelings! So much to do, so little time. Well, I hope that you'll like this! Please read and review! See you in future stories!

**NOTE: **If you haven't seen the last episode of Cowboy Bebop then you **DO NOT READ THIS!!!!! **I don't people getting mad that I spoiled the ending for them. It's in bold print and I will be very angry if someone reviews me saying how I ruined the series for him or her. I'm really a nice girl, but if you're going to do something like that, trust me. I won't be nice anymore. Don't want to make it sound like a threat, but I will seriously start to flip out on you. –Little Sakura-chan

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Cowboy Bebop. This story is completely my idea and if you have questions you can email me or just say it in a review. Thanks.

Life Without Him

Jet stood, looking out the large window on the Bebop. Spike's favorite spot to practice kung fu. He watched the sky and felt his heart a beat when he saw a star fade out. Faye's solos echoed through out the quiet ship and Jet remembered his conversation with the old Indian man earlier that night.

"He won't survive, huh?" Jet asked aloud. He turned when he heard footsteps behind him

"So, he's really gone?" Faye asked, eyes red-rimmed from crying and cheeks wet with tears. She still had the gun in her hand.

"Guess so, " he said, turning away.

"How could you let him walk away like that!?" Faye demanded hoarsely. "You let him walk into death!"

"You didn't do much to stop him either."

The gun clattered to the floor.

"You didn't even try to talk him out of it! I did! At least I tried!" she shouted at Jet's back.

"I've known him a lot longer than you, Faye," Jet said quietly. "Even if I did talk to him, he would have gone. He's stubborn like that."

"Why couldn't he let go of his past?" Faye asked helplessly.

"I didn't ever hear him ask you that."

"What!?"

Jet turned back to Faye. "Remember when you got those tapes and Spike and I went and got you the thing to play it in I didn't hear him ask you why _you_ wouldn't give up your past."

"You bastard!" Faye screamed angrily. "I don't even remember who I am. I just figured out part of my life! If you've forgotten, I was asleep for seventy years!"

Jet shrugged. "Are you staying?"

Fay stopped, breathing heavily. "What?" she asked.

"Are you staying?" Jet repeated. "Here on the Bebop? I have enough room and she's a little hard to manage by myself."

"That's a real quick subject change." Faye remarked dryly. "Since I don't have anywhere else to go, I will stay here."

"Okay, then. I guess that means we're gonna have to get along," Jet said.

"I guess so. Are we going to find the kid and dog?"

Jet shook his head. "No. I have no clue where Ed and Ein could be. They've been gone for three days and knowing Ed, they've moved fast."

"Oh," was all Faye said.

"Let's get out of here," Jet said suddenly. "I don't want to stay here." He strode past Faye and disappeared into the hallway.

Faye walked to where Jet had been. She leaned her head on the cool glass. Too much had happened in the last few hours. She closed her eyes, imagining Spike practicing his kung fu. His body moved fluidly from move to move. She had grown so comfortable fighting next to him. Jet was right; she had no reason to question why Spike didn't let go of her past. He told her before he left to fight Vicious that one of his eyes was false and that he saw the past through it. She felt sorry for him in a way. He was forced to embrace his past and she was able to forget it since not much was there. Faye smiled slightly as she heard Spike's voice in her head.

_Shut up, Faye. Don't feel sorry for me._

A tear splashed on the steel floor.

"Oh, Spike."

"You should really stop lying."

"Huh?" Jet asked, turning to stare at Faye in the doorframe.

"You don't need help with the Bebop. Spike barely helped you with this piece of junk!"

"Hey!" Jet cried defensively.

Faye grinned slightly. "You just want the company. You don't want to be alone since Spike was here for so long."

"I guess you're smarter than you look," Jet told her.

"I bet you were a real charmer of the ladies," she said sarcastically and went back into the hallway. "I'm talking a shower, so don't come into the bathroom!" she called.

"Wasn't planning on it!" he shouted back.

Faye didn't answer and her face lost its grin and was replaced with a straight line.

_I should have been an actress instead of a thief,_ she thought wryly. _Hell, if I can make Jet believe I'm feeling better, then I can fool anyone!_

She passed Spike's room and walked into the bathroom. She turned on the water and stepped in after undressing. An hour later, Jet pounded on the door.

"Get the hell out of the shower, Faye!" he shouted.

"What?" she asked, turning off the water.

"I said, get your ass out of the show-" Jet choked as the door slid open.

Faye stood there, hands on her hips, with a short towel wrapped around her body. "What?" she demanded, staring at him hard.

"Jesus Christ, Faye! Warn me when you're going to do that!" he said, shortly.

She waved her hand. "Whatever. What did you want?"

"For you to get out of the shower and to tell you that if you want to eat, food's ready."

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry. I'm going into my room."

"Alright. You know where it is," Jet turned and Faye picked up her clothes. "Oh, yeah and Faye. Don't pretend that you're okay when you're okay when you're really not."

Faye dropped her clothes and stared at Jet's retreating back, listening to the echo of his footsteps. "I guess I wouldn't be a good actress, Jet would," Faye said softly. "He wasn't fooled. He just acts like he doesn't care."

Faye made her way to her room. Her door opened in a rush of air. Her room was dark with no windows, so Faye walked to her dresser. She touched the lamp once. The room filled with a low light. Faye walked past her messy bed to get her robe. She pulled on the white terrycloth bathrobe and froze while the knot. She slowly turned to the bed. Her room was spotless except for that.

"I know I made you this morning," she said to the bed.

Faye inhaled deeply and her heart stopped. She hadn't noticed that her room smelled different. It smelled muskier. Faye nearly fainted. It was Spike's cologne. She lay down on her bed and buried her face into her pillow, breathing in Spike's familiar scent. She hugged her pillow and felt a piece of paper under it. She pulled it out and sat up. It had her name on it in unfamiliar handwriting. She opened it and began to read.

Jet walked past Spike's room to take a shower when he heard crying from behind the closed door. He stopped, half hoping that Spike was still alive and he had snuck onto the Bebop. He pressed the button to open the door and it seemed to slide open very slowly.

Faye was sitting in the middle of the bed, sobbing and clutching something to her chest. She was in a white, terrycloth bathrobe. Jet stopped when he saw her.

"Faye!" he exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing in here?!"

Faye looked at him, broken. Her face was blotchy from her crying. Jet had to feel bad for her, she looked so pitiful. He finally noticed what she was holding. It was a piece of paper, now very crumpled. Jet walked to the bed and say next to Faye.

"Faye?" he asked carefully. "What's wrong?" He cringed. He sounded like a father, but Faye needed someone right now.

"This," she choked through her sobs, handing the paper to Jet.

Jet's hands shook a little as he looked at the familiar handwriting.

_Faye,_

_ Hey. I guess if you're reading this, it means I'm dead. I was going to sneak in your room and take it out. Don't want to let you know I care, even if it's a little. Don't worry about what happened tonight. If I were able to forget my past, I wouldn't have gone. Vicious was a threat and threats must be dealt with. I don't even know I'm explaining this to you. Maybe I want you to understand. Who knows? Can you tell Jet sorry for me? I don't wasn't to die with him mad at me. Oh, and tell him there's a note for him in his favorite spot. If you ever find Ed again, there's a letter for her on my table. And, Faye, if you were aiming to shoot me, your aim sucks._

_ Spike_

_PS- I hope you don't mind that I slept in your bed!_

Spike 

Jet looked at Faye, not blaming her for acting the way she was. He wasn't sure of what to do. He felt helpless since he was never pit into this situation before. Now her knew why Spike hated women. But, Faye wasn't that bad. She usually didn't have emotional breakdowns like the one she was having now.

"Hey. Faye," Jet said as gently as he could. "It'll be okay." He awkwardly put his arm around her shoulders. "You'll get by."

Faye buried her head in his chest. Her hot tears scalded Jet's chest. He was surprised by their hotness. Jet eventually put his other arm around her in a light hug. Faye pulled away ten minutes later. She had stopped crying and she wiped her red eyes with the back of her hand.

"Thanks, Jet."

"Yeah. No problem." He got up to leave.

"It made me laugh at some parts."

Jet turned back to her. "Huh?"

"In the letter. Despite the fact that lots of things were sad, he still made me laugh."

Jet smiled. "Yeah. Spike had that gift. Night, Faye."

"Night, Jet."

Four hours later, Jet knocked on Faye's door. When he didn't get an answer, he knocked harder.

"Hey! Faye! You should really eat. You're gonna get sick if you don't!"

He silently cursed Spike. _Damn it, Spike. Now I actually care because you put her in this state._

"Faye?" he called again and pressed the button.

Her door slid open to reveal the low-lit room. Faye wasn't in her bed. Jet stood there a moment, thinking of where the woman could be. He closed the door after him and walked down the hallway.

Jet opened Spike's door and saw what he was looking for. Faye was there, sleeping soundly on the bed, wearing on of Spike's shirts. Jet shook his head and closed the door. Her went to the place depicted in Spike's note to Faye. His bonsai trees needed to be watered anyway. He spotted the white among the green. He picked it up and began to skim Spike's chicken scratch. He let out a snort after reading the first line. It said: _Hey, old man. I bet this made you soft and you'll comfort Faye._

"Ah, you know all too well, Spike," Jet said to himself.

He finished the letter and smiled. He shut off the light in the small room and went into his room, smiling.

Four months later, Faye and Jet returned to the place where Spike was killed. Faye had stopped sleeping in Spike's room two months ago, though she used his shirts to sleep in still. She learned how to smile again. The two had met Ed a little over a month ago in a small town. Ein was with her and she parked happily when she saw Jet and Faye. They gave Ed the latter and asked if she wanted to come with them.

"No thanks, Faye-Faye. Ed likes it here. So does Ein. Ed and Ein will stay. Anyway, Spi-Spi won't be there, so it won't be any fun."

Jet was surprised at Ed's reaction. He thought that she'd at least stop smiling. She was never anything but happy. Jet figured that she would mourn in her own time.

It was dark now, and Faye was standing in the same spot Jet had after telling her that Spike was dead. Faye stared at the velvety, dark blue sky dotted with stars. It had taken her awhile, but she was able to go into Spike's room without crying. She and Jet had gotten closer and he warmed up considerably. He had become like a brother. He was no longer stiff and detached. He was even funny sometimes.

Faye sighed as a shooting star streaked across the sky. She saw Spike's reflection in the window behind her. His hand was on her shoulder and he was smiling. Faye smiled back and closed her eyes. When she opened them, Spike's image was gone. She was getting along fine without him. This was life without him. If Spike believed that she was strong, then she was and she was going to prove it.

"See ya, Cowboy," she said to the sky, letting go.

That's the end of my Cowboy Bebop one shot! I hoped that you liked it and that you will read and review my other stories. I have another one called Unmei no Kodomo on under the same name and I have two other stories on I hope that I will see you all in the future! R&R!


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